Doula in Portland Oregon gives tips to a couple for Valentine's Day Dates

12 Valentine’s Date Ideas for Parents with a Baby…That Don’t Include Sex.

Remember when you had all the time in the world for soft kisses, romantic dinners out, dressing up, and knowing you’ll get lucky?! You know…those sexy vibes of Valentine’s Day? But now…you have a baby. Amidst diaper changes, being touched out, sleepless nights, and the constant demands of caring for a little one, finding time for romance might seem like an impossible task.

But we got you! We have created 12 creative and memorable Valentine’s date ideas that don’t revolve around sex, don’t cost a lot of moola, and can be done with a baby in the carrier or crib! Read through all 12 Valentine’s Dates ideas for parents with a newborn. Which one sounds like a fun time for you and your special Valentine this year?

1. Bring Italy to You

Bring the world to your living room with a travel experience date in your very own home. Do you love Hawaii, Spain or dream of a trip to Japan? Choose a destination you both wish to visit one day or a special place you’ve been….and plan an entire evening around it!

  • Teriyaki Chicken, Mac Salad & Mai Tai’s = Hawaii.
  • A nice Italian red wine and pasta = Italy.
  • Sushi takeout, Mango Sticky Rice & Bubble Tea = Japan.
  • You get the idea!

Cook or order food inspired by that culture, create a playlist of music from the region, and maybe dress for the weather or scene. Virtually explore landmarks through online tours and heck, this might even start you brainstorming when you can take this next trip!

This unique and immersive Valentine’s experience allows you to escape the routine and share a sense of adventure, all from the comfort of your home. Aloha!

2. Memory Lane Movie Night

Reconnect with your pre-parent selves by creating a movie night filled with films that hold sentimental value for both of you. Whether it’s the movie you watched on your first date or a film that reminds you of a shared experience, immerse yourselves in nostalgia.

Set up a cozy space with blankets and pillows, dim the lights, and enjoy a trip down memory lane. Both pick a movie that represents something from your relationship or one you just love.…and let the memory lane begin. Pop popcorn, get all the sweet-salty snacks, maybe crack open your favorite drinks and snuggle up.

This activity allows you to share stories, laughs, and maybe even a few tears as you reflect on your journey together. It also is laid-back and relaxing, which every parent with a newborn needs. The great thing about this Valentine’s date idea is you can pause the movie and feed the baby whenever you need to!

3. Spa Night at Home

Create your very own spa at home. Turn the lights out, light some (and by some, I mean a ton), candles all around the room, play soothing spa music, and give each other a head and neck massage. New parents are stressed and overworked.

This Valentine’s Day Date is about relaxing those tight muscles and finding some calm together in a fun way. You could make peppermint foot baths and sit on the couch together holding hands. You can create a DIY face mask station (with ingredients from your kitchen) or enjoy a warm herbal bath together.

This intimate setting not only helps you relax but also fosters a sense of connection as you take care of each other’s well-being. And remember…sex isn’t needed for this to be a sensual and intimate night. It’s just about relaxing together.

4. Pages of Us: Handcrafted Love Letters

Forget the roses and need for shopping for the perfect gift. You have a baby…you are busy enough! Bring forth the idea to your partner to forgo the heart-shaped chocolate box and instead express your feelings for each other by writing heartfelt love letters.

Take the time to reflect on your relationship as you’ve become parents together. Share the challenges you’ve overcome, what you admire in the other as a parent and the love that has grown between you. Exchange the letters on Valentine’s Day and read them aloud to each other.

Better yet, light tons of candles and create a full moment for this romantic gesture to take place. This exercise not only strengthens your emotional connection but also serves as a beautiful keepsake to revisit in the years to come. This might even become the new Valentine’s Day tradition it’s so good!

5. A Family Photography Adventure

Grab a disposable camera or Polaroid if you have more cash flow. Capture the precious moments of your life together by embarking on a photography adventure. This can be a day with your sweet baby when you head out on the town to your local joints or a new journey to somewhere new.

It could be a walk in the park, a visit to a favorite coffee shop, or simply documenting a day in the life of your family doing the mundane chores of life. The magic comes from the camera and stopping to catch the real, messy, and fun moments of the everyday.

The quest – is to fill up the entire camera roll in a day! So take those selfie kisses, catch the mom rocking her baby to sleep, capture your partner loading the dishwasher(cause that’s suuupper sexy)…..you get it. Real life.

The act of capturing these moments not only provides a creative outlet but also allows you to see your relationship from a different perspective. Compile the photos into a real photo album, creating a visual love letter that encapsulates your journey as a family.

6. Create A Tasting Night

This one’s for the foodie couples. What’s something you and your partner love to drink or eat together?

  • Create your very own wine-tasting event…with different wines paired with meats and cheese. Here’s an idea…buy some cheap bottles and some nicer ones, brown paper bag them…and see if the extra moola is worth it.
  • If love beer, create a beer flight of new beers that you’ve never tried from local breweries.
  • Not into alcohol? You can still have a tasting night! Maybe you drool for Pad Ke Mow. Order from 3 different restaurants and have a true Thai showdown!

The great thing is….if you want to get dressed up you can of course. But this style of tasting night can be done in your pajamas and with a baby right next to you. Valentine’s Day is often about drinking and eating delicious things.

You don’t need to go out to create a special event. Create your own Tasting Night at home and you decide when it’s closing time.

7. Playful Painting Night

Time to get messy. Tap into your creative sides by having an artistic expression night. You don’t need to be “good” at art for this. Just set up a mini art studio at home with canvases, paints, and brushes. You could choose a prompt like “paint something you love about your partner”, or “paint something about our baby’s birth story”. At the end, reveal your art pieces and what they mean to you.

Or you can both paint on the same canvas and collaborate. And if you are so scared by a blank canvas, then buy a Paint By Number Kit for you to start. Gone are the days of the cringy Paint By Number art you’d NEVER want on your wall. Check out these beauties that will inspire and be wall-worthy!

Painting in any way has been shown to relax and reduce blood pressure which is a wonderful side effect of being artsy and being on a date. This doesn’t have to be serious, it can be lighthearted and a delightful way to create some memories and laugh a ton all on Valentine’s Day all while your baby is hanging with you.

8. DIY Love Coupons

Create a set of personalized love coupons for each other as new parents. These coupons can be redeemed for various acts of kindness, special favors, or activities that your partner enjoys. From “A Night of Uninterrupted Sleep”, “Breakfast in Bed”, “A Day of No Diapers”, and “10 Minute Foot Rub”.

These coupons provide a tangible way to show your love and appreciation. It’s a thoughtful and playful gesture that allows you to cater to each other’s needs, fostering a sense of care and understanding. Feeling anxious in your postpartum? Here are some tips on how to ease those anxious feelings that can come with having a baby.

9. Yoga and a Date of Zen

Ahhhhh, now let’s relax. Brew some herbal tea and nosh on a fruit and nut plate with some dark chocolate (duh, it’s Valentine’s Day). Dim the lights, pull out the yoga mats and turn on some soft instrumental music.

To get into a zen space and away from the crazy day you had, begin with a short meditation session to center yourselves. Here is a 10 minute couples guided relaxation track to use if you need. This can help both of you relax and transition into the present moment together – which is the entire point of a Valentine’s date.

If you are Yogis and want to lead your own flow go for it. However, if you need some guidance put on this Date Night Yoga Sesh with Adrienne or a LOVE Yoga Flow that is only 20 minutes. End the evening with a candlelit setting. Share affirmations or positive thoughts with each other.

This kind of Valentine’s date can be a beautiful way to move your body together and reinforce your connection for the love and partnership you share in a zen way on Valentine’s Day.

10. Flirty Fort Making

Trust me on this one. Forget about fancy dinners and red roses – this Valentine’s Day, and get fun and flirty in a homemade fort for adults! Picture this: you grab every pillow in the house, sheets and blankets, chairs and maybe even your broom (my special hack). Together you create the most cozy, magical fort in your bedroom or living room all while your baby sleeps in the Snoo.

Light with candles or flashlights for that soft glow where even if you have spilled milk on your sweater you will feel better. Once you’ve engineered the perfect entrance and cozy nest….grab the drinks and all the snacks. Snuggle up and just talk, make animal shadows, or grab your laptop and watch your favorite show.

Everything is better in a fort! You might feel so snuggly you end up falling asleep in your created fort (something new parents desperately need). The Valentine’s vibe here is where diaper duty meets parents who are still playful at heart. <read more on how an overnight doula can help get you sleep>

11. Let the Rivelary Begin

For the spunky and competitive couples out there, you could pull off an epic game night for your Valentine’s night at home. Pull out all the classics: Scrabble, Yatzee, Scattegories, Phase 10, Rummycube.

Or maybe this Valentine’s Day you buy a new game to learn and play “Rock, Paper, Scissors” for who will read the instructions (the worst part of a new game in my opinion).

Fill your game night with mocktails or real cocktails (heck, maybe the loser needs to make the next round!) In between baby feedings and diapers, get back to the coffee table to enjoy a fun time together playing games to add some levity and possibly some healthy rivalry to your Valentine’s Day.

12. Escape from Reality

Prepare for a Valentine’s Day that’s not only cozy but also packed with excitement – all without leaving the comfort of your own nest, with your baby in tow! Get in and get out of a virtual Escape Room! Get cozy in bed or set up at the table and put your thinking caps on! Dive into a virtual escape room, where you and your partner take on a world of puzzles, clues, and mystery-solving with your Valentine.

A great Valentine’s Day date to get those brains active, creative juices flowing, and teamwork flying. If you don’t escape, no biggie – it was FREE! It’s a Valentine’s Day like no other, where love and teamwork conquer all challenges, leaving you with fun memories and, hopefully, the sweet taste of victory! If you love this and want to pay, there are also advanced Virtual Escape Rooms options here.

Forget the Spanx this year. Come as you are!

Valentine’s Day can come with a lot of pressure. And being parents to a baby can make an impact on your time, energy, and capacity for expected sexy times. Being parents of a tiny baby doesn’t mean you have to forgo each other altogether. Having a baby in the mix this Valentine’s Day could be just the thing that allows for a conversation and a reframing on what it means to you two now.

Valentine’s Day with a newborn can still be a celebration of your love, connection and now…your teamwork of parenting. Choose to do something that will bring you joy and not extra pressure. No need to get into your Spanx and have to shave your entire body for the night to end the way it used to.

This year it might end with you holding your baby, and a long hug at the end of the night. Both of you knowing that parenting is the hardest work you’ve ever done, and the truest form of love (the real point of Valentine’s Day).


Feeling tired and overwhelmed? Need of Postpartum Doula Support? Schedule a free doula consult here!

Want to know how a Postpartum Doula can support you in the first year after having a baby? Here are 52 ways a doula can help you and your home!

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